can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize