Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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