I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
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Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
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Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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