I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize