DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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