So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize