oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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