I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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