I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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