So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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