my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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