My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize