Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize