Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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