It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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