I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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