The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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