I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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