Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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