Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize