I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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