last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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