Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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