Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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