No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize