We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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