i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize