just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize