still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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