I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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