Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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