Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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