are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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