he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize