I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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