I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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