So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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