someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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