She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize