After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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