Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize