I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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