And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize