I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
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i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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