she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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