she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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