Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
and you fell through a lawn chair
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize