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He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize