i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize