He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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